It’s easier this way.
I’ll keep you in the dark for as long as I can,
but it will be your fault when I finally pull the trigger.
I could talk to you about things,
but I would just be reiterating what you already know.
I want to do everything but say goodbye,
but “everything” always comes back to bite me in the end.
We are take it or leave it.
We are all or nothing.
Always were.
Always will be.
written July 6, 2018.
I guess I wasn’t that mad while you were inside of me, huh?
I wanted to tell you how much I can’t stand you,
but I was silenced by your stroke.
You come to me with a full mouth and empty hands,
but I am so smitten by the words you string together
that I ignore what you lack.
You and I both know we have an expiration date;
one that I have to implement myself.
I’ve stalled this departure way too many times.
We should’ve ended already,
but it’s not that hard to tell,
that I’m in love with your heaven,
and I’m in love with your hell.
written November 5, 2016.