I begin to string words together just to delete them.
These sentences will never do my feelings justice,
so I’m unsure of why I try.
When your heart mourns the loss of someone
who hasn’t passed
but your time with them has,
there’s not much that you can say.
I erase your number from my phone
just to put it right back in.
I’ve dug up a picture from the spring.
I look at it as a means to retrieve a time
where letting you go wasn’t an option.
I never would have thought we’d end up here.
But we can go a lot farther, you know.
You can overcome your fears
and I’ll be here to see it unfold every step of the way.
Only if you want to, though…
But you won’t.
And you don’t.
So I reluctantly say goodbye to the thought of us,
because for you I guess there never really was one.
It would make too much sense
to be with the woman that makes you happy.
You like our story,
just not the part about love.
written July 20, 2016.